𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤?

Published 25/7/25 7.00pm

Today, after our LGR live session, I captured this photo.

And it means more than just a smile.

Because this…

this is the smile I had forgotten.

For years, I smiled the way I was taught —

polite, acceptable, measured.

I didn’t even realise I had lost the version of me that smiles from the inside.

But I did.

And it took me years to get her back.

I grew up learning that other people’s opinions came first.

What we wore.

What we ate.

Where we went.

What we said.

Even how we smiled in front of others.

It was all taught — directly and silently — from a very young age:

"Be careful what people will think."

And I listened.

Like so many girls do.

We’re taught to be good, be nice, be polite.

Make sure everyone else is comfortable, even if we’re not.

And somewhere along the way,

I lost myself.

Trying to be who others expected.

Trying to keep everyone else happy.

Trying not to be judged.

Until one day…

I couldn’t hear myself anymore.

I didn’t know what I wanted.

What I liked.

What brought me joy.

Because I had been too busy trying to keep everyone else happy — I forgot what my own happiness even looked like.

And the truth?

Most of the people we worry about…

aren’t even thinking about us.

We live in a world with 3-second attention spans.

Everyone’s caught up in their own story.

And the ones who do have time to judge?

Usually don’t have much of their own life to live.

So why do we keep living for their approval?

I’ve learned that caring what others think is a form of self-abandonment.

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 is when you disconnect from your own needs, feelings, or truth just to keep other people happy.

It’s when you ignore your gut.

Say yes when you mean no.

Push your own joy aside to avoid being judged or rejected.

And after a while…

You forget what you actually want —

because you've been living for everyone else.

It disconnects us from our own joy.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 — 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝.

But I’m choosing differently now.

And this smile is proof.

Not a perfect smile.

But a real one.

Because I’ve lived the version of life that pleases others.

And I’ve lived the version where I come back to me.

And nothing compares to the peace of hearing your own voice again.

Your desires matter.

Your joy matters.

Your opinions matter.

You matter.

And if you’ve spent most of your life trying to be enough for others…

Maybe it’s time to finally start being everything you already are —

for you.

Rosheka Chandra